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"poetry"

Relief

Wandering in the woods

Or In the mind

Of seasoned 'scapes

Brings Lavish

Daylight dreamers

Present clarity

 

Telling Dreams

It is so clearly wrong

It is so clearly what I want

So, there in such a great cloud of

Witnesses

Judges

Advocates

I dream of choice and find

I can choose wrong

Wrong is pain

Pain is  living

So, I'd rather be dead

Wrong than dutifully

Written

Something Found


Then
I found myself humming
Into the mattress
With you
It was an accidental thing
An exhale that sent a slight vibration
Through the sheets
and
I enjoyed the sound
The sense
Of my humming
Beside you –
and you
Laughed at me
Those ripples made me giggle
And roll joyfully
Leaving dis-ease
There, Then
I found myself
Humming into the mattress
With you

Still..the...Pain...refresh


pain
i need to escape
must still the pain

inviting glances, her voice purrs delight
perhaps she will, maybe i might
curves of delight, soft to the touch
i'll yield to her embrace, receiving much

passion will save me, ignited by lust
healing me forever, a longing that must
be united by voracious appetite
here i'll finally find, ease in this night

morning greets me, empty and spent
for long was the journey, dark places i went
memories haunt me, where i have lain
for bliss has left me, still the pain

i cannot go on
i am beaten and crippled
i endure
and, still the pain

hunger drives me, desire to be feed
with buffets and banquets, butter and bread
taste so sublime, pleasure my pallet
in this food i will find, relief from it

that starving will cease, cravings no more
so engorge me, fill me that's what i'm for
yet, hunger persists, no relief do i gain
with belly filled, there is still the pain

i cannot go on
i am beaten and crippled
i endure
and, still the pain

look doctor i cry, see this injury here
without your attention, i'll die, i fear
so now i've found, the answer i sought
it runs through my veins, these pills i have bought

for no more do i feel, that pain now so dull
gone forever i know, i'm truly once full
wait, it fades now, give me again
that treatment so true, ah my new friend

till more's not enough, and much has been lost
i've run from my pain, and see what's cost
i'm faded and gaunt, alone in the rain
for here i'm once more, still the pain

i cannot go on
i am beaten and crippled
i endure
and, still the pain

now the pain does it's work, i'm twisted and torn
empty and broken, weathered and worn
this vessel of nothing, a shattered jar of clay
i know the sun will not rise upon me today

here i seek that so deeply sought
the essence of ease, that couldn't be caught
by the desire of man, or the skills of gain
for Surrender has found me here stills the pain

i cannot go on
i am beaten and empty
i surrender
and, still now is the pain

Bleed

sometimes
i want to bleed
let the ruby stream flow
from self inflicted wounds lost
rush forth, spilling
pulsing screams found
velvet waves overflowing proper boundaries

i want to bleed
washing out decaying debris
sweeping rotting carcasses
foul organic rot surged from veins
of now remembered errors
move on, ever away to another place

i want to bleed
until the last drop fall silently
on sun baked stones
tears of fault upon a parched beds
lingering dust, rolling

lifeless shadows reaching
to passers by
who walk
mindless of the flood that once flowed
all the while
knowing they too want to bleed

Minority Report

Your minority reporting, discriminating
Labels make you scream
At me
WASP
White
Anglo-Saxon
Protestant
Middle-Class
And
Male
Thus you label me
And with it
You paint me
Enemy

And with it
You catalogue my evils against you
And you rail, righteously
And rightfully
Against predisposed claims of
Superiority, authority and dominance
From you, the minority anger
Shouts about and wraps me into scripts
Straight!
Patriarchal!
Sexist!
Materialistic man!
Establishment keeper!
Oppressor!
Unfair trader!
Consumer of goods and souls!
WASP! Male!

Thus, you label me.
Typing your script in fine and precise
Accusations, lashes
Slap me with the permanent writing
Of your label
For me
And I
Hurt

Why must you speak of me in such rage?
Cataloguing blame on me
Sorting me into boxes of wrongs
Throngs of prejudicial files
Filed away, sorted names
I have other labels, too
Divorced
Addict
Fatherless
Short
Too young
Too old
Unworthy
Insecure
Neurotic
ADD
Privileged…

Files those away and sort us together
Perhaps, just maybe, we are not that different – you and I
WASP’s wounds are wounds still
Put that in your minority report
And consider, just consider
We are all damaged goods

Spanish Moss


Clinging to branches among the oaks
Timeless observer of time's passing
You sway through breezes and revolutions
Directing humanity's passage
As if orchestrating a divine symphony

With nothing but a wisp connecting you
To the lofty vantage from which you
Observe us, coy and unaffected
Your slight presence fans our dreams
As a winter wind stirs the smoldering fire

Little more than air feeds you
A hint of sea salt to spice your tasting
Of our adventures and chaos
You remain, lingering luscious
As the memory of a lover's sigh

Eternally upon us

On Having Lunch at Panera


The din resonates
Countless voices frantically
Proclaim facades and personas

Below the cascade
Simplistic souls stand
Wall flowers alone and longing

Within, a voice asks
Shall we dance?

Free Dive


I thought only death would be so peaceful
My ears are useless, muffled, and deaf
I don’t breath now, lungs stopped, idol
My heart slows, relaxing under increased pressure
Sight is all that remains
And that an opaque vision of color and life

I can’t stay here, not and live
This momentary peace must yield
To the screams of my lungs and flesh
So I head toward the surface
To the world of air breathing creatures
And over stimulated demands

Note: On free diving in the Atlantic near Bermuda.

Waving Goodbye


A Child

Pats the water with her foot

Ripples

Spread gently, caressing the surface

Gliding outward, searching for shore

Fading to smooth




Tiny toes

Break the fluid plain

Movement

Life upon the stillness

Reaching

Longing

Hoping for a place to land




Again and again

Each gentle touch fades

Weakened waves reaching

Never touching the distant sand

Destination




SPLASH!




Surges churn turbulence of sea

Arms and legs violate the stillness

Liquid rage calls

To the depths

Unknown concentric waves

Demanding, diminishing, stopping




Stillness

Descending shimmers

Calming the spot

Closing the circle

Cessation




Now

On a distant shore

Small ripples lap the sand

Lap the sand

Home



-Once, an adolescent that I knew took her own life. This poem is in memory of her.

Setting One

Your beauty
Laid out before me
Stops
Me
Your beauty
Laid out before me

Orange hues wrapped in florid haze
This sky
Brushed upon a palette
By the sliding sun
Layers
Broadcasting the coming twilight
Filled with hope and promise
Your beauty is
Laid out for me

Seeks me
Reaches out and touches my eyes
Causing them to care for you

A beauty that grazes my thoughts
Hunting
Beyond knowing
your play through faint prisms
Longing to be known

Your beauty
Laid out for me ready to be felt
A lover’s embrace
Caress of possibilities
Tonight
In each sigh
Each brush of lips

Your beauty
Laid out before me stops
Me

Longing has left with
Desire
Calm and undisturbed
Even as your wonder
Strikes my sightlessness
Drumming
A distant glow

Still Waters

Still Waters

placid ripples radiate
out from the stone's wake
plopping into silence
downward

from a nameless toss it came
flying in a moment
failing to break gravity's grasp
downward

descending the abyss
parting waters of primeval ways
stirring the reservoir of rage
downward

what life lies beneath
what longings to be stirred
what hopes become reacquainted
down there

thus we settle on deepest sediment
nests into our new dark home
and something, disturbed, moves
down there

Joy's Passing


joy's passing

muffled echoes of old laughter
the last wave of eternal bliss
retreating from memory
freezing this moment of nothing

the stillness begins

sighs of forsaken hope
descending to the cell
in a clang of resignation
doubting daylight's unknown caress

the emptiness again

comes a glimmer of remembrance
recognition of this familiar prison
it's safety, security and temporary reign
until broken into unrestrained

emprizonment

The Hollow


The Hollow

cravings gnaw
screams of mute desires
hunger ravaging
unrelenting taunts


the search
for sustenance, substance
this starving spirit now
memory, loneliness
ancient appetites left unfed
the plate of comfort, broken

shattered is the chalice
vanished the cup of love
no audience remains
to silence these endless calls
for the needs of one solitary life

what of the wound of human
what can heal where no
drug can reach, no hand touch
wounds bleed, infections grow
constantly consuming


silent in the screams
fullfilled in the desires
within the gap broken ones
lies comfort
a solitary whisper rises


waiting to be heard and known
a voice from all chaos rises
a word is sliced and a touch dropped
into the hollow, hallowed
heart

Scary Solitude


Scary Solitude

before the dust settles on plain
memories of pain, cries that rain
of sorrow
these wounds of my creation follow

take me, my soul my sin
take me, take all that is within
take me, wipe me away
leave only the memory and stay
don't go...


after a smile and a laugh together
joys fade, flits away like a feather
in flight
comes the fright of being alone in the night

take me, my soul my sin
take me, take all that is within
take me, wipe me away
leave only the memory and stay
don't go...

sorrows echo, resounding
pounding down all joy you could bring
in today
seems forever my soul will shout to say

take me, my soul my sin
take me, take all that is within
take me, wipe me away
leave only the memory and stay
don't go...

Today – Online



We are living diverse lives…
Today, we are
Glad it’s Friday
Remembering deceased loved ones
Headed to the hospital to sit with mom
LMAO at a puppy playing with an ice cube
Anxious about a lover
Tired
Excited about a new job
Reading
Writing
Pondering spiritual truths
Sharing quotes because I’m bored
Posting smiley faces and crying inside
Posting frowns and laughing
Stalking
And
In all of this
Are we
Perhaps
Looking for something more
Someone to say
“I get it. I understand. You’re not alone.”
Yes
Yes, we are
How’s that working for us?

Dream You


Dream You

were you a dream
soft clouds of unknowing
drifting passion of twilight
moments of obsession
found us and pushed us apart
again

Tanked



The sputter can surprise us
Running wide ass open
Taking no prisoners
Casting laughter like caution
To the wind
Blowing up a storm of passionate dreams
And friends cheering us on

The road turns, twisting
Thought and perceptions
Into unrecognizable shards
Broken, poured out, spilled
Across memories of tomorrow’s
Dreamers awaken
When the fuel of creation
Runs dry

Thus fools rush in
Where angels fear to tread
And shout
"Fill’er UP!"

Temptation


Temptation

lusty voices, delicacies beyond reach
desires unmet, thirst parched utterings
grasping hands, openings, invitation

thin, glimmers move silently
among the chaos
swept away, dismissed to theory

the battle rages, threatening to
divide soul, destroy spirit
eternal battles waged within children

us

The Sea

The Sea

Swirls foam around my ankles
Toes wiggle in the archaic sands
Minnows dart, carving runes in the tidal plane

The early sun warms tanning skin
Gulls sing anthems of the dawn
Waves rise in the distance announcing change

Waves rise
Fleeing tides grab sand and shell
As the wave impacts

The salt burns, eyes and nose
Water cascades away from spralling legs and  flailing arms
Caught unaware, startled by familiar currents

Laughter swells within the sea of my soul
welcome home...