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"gender stuff"

Too Sensual for Public Listening Music

I was minding my own business, driving with business colleague to lunch when my iPod shuffled right up to a song that made me very uncomfortable. I may be alone on this one, but there are some songs that are so sensual that I’m uncomfortable hearing them in social settings. Two of them on my list of “too sensual for public listening” are:


Paula Cole – “Feeling Love”


Christina Aguilera - “Nasty Boy”


So, when driving to Steak Street with a female colleague, it is best not to hear Christina Aguilera singing, “Give me a little taste of that sugar below your waist.” Trust me.

What about you? Is there a song that makes you blush if playing in public?

What Makes a Woman Beautiful?

There is little in this world more beautiful than someone who takes care of themselves in order to be able to care for someone else.


I overheard a woman discussing her recent workout routine with a friend. Her goal was to increase her upper body strength in order to better lift and care for her handicapped child.


Beautiful woman.

Your Beauty Stops

Your beauty
Laid out before me
Stops

Your beauty
Laid out before me

Orange hues wrapped in purple haze
This sky
Brushed upon a palette
By the descending of the sun
Layers
Broadcasting the coming night
Filled with hope and promise
Your beauty is laid out for me

A beauty that seeks me
Reaches out and touches my eyes
Causing them to scan for you

A beauty that grazes my thoughts
Hunting for understanding
Beyond knowing the work of light
Reflecting through prisms
And chemicals reacting in mist
Longing to be known

Your beauty
Laid out before me ready to be known
As in an embrace lovers know
The caress of wonder
Possibilities of tomorrow
In each gentle sigh
Each kiss of moisture

Your beauty
Laid out before me stops

Longing is left alone
Desire
Calm and undisturbed
Even as your wonder
Strikes the lenses of my sight
Pounding
Nothing but a distant echo

Is heard

Tonight…

Time Will Tell

Situation: A couple, newly together, watches a DVD together. She falls asleep half-way through. The next morning he sends her an email…


“Thank you so much for last night. It is wonderful to have someone who thinks enough of me to watch what I wanted to see. I know you don’t like horror that much. You were obviously very tired. I’m delighted you were comfortable enough with me to fall asleep. I wore the same shirt today because you left a tiny bit of drool on my sleeve and I wanted to keep you close. See you tonight.”


Same couple, same evening, five years later…


“I don’t get you! Not only do you not care about anything I want to watch but you fell asleep on my favorite shirt and drooled all night! Next time, just go to bed. I’ll be home at 7:00.”


Same couple, same evening, 15 years…


“Enjoyed the movie. I dropped off the laundry (I got something on my shirt). Did you take the DVD back? Pick up something else when you go – one of your favorites this time. Oh, I’ll be home at 5:30, do you want to go out for dinner? You pick.”

Listening Badly

You don’t mean badly of it

Your constant chatter

About your thoughts, life moments

Ongoing strident tones

Filling every silence to brimming


I don’t mean badly of it

Listening half heartily

To worn tires chatting

Over tired pavement

Rhythms rising from empty drums

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

The other day I went on an eight day, seven night canoe trip with three other men through a section of the Okefenokee Swamp. I had never been on a canoe trip beyond a paddle in the local lake, so I was excited about spending some time doing manly things with other manly men in a manly environment. The swamp is home to snakes, alligators, wild mammals and amazing bird and other wildlife.


I wasn't disappointed. Everything that this type of adventure offers hit us full force, face-on impacting out lives and saturating our thirst for manly excitement and bonding. Perhaps I will share more about that trip someday, but this post isn't about the actual trip, it is about the beginning – the beginning of all things, in a way.


The four of arrived at our launch point and soon had our gear packed in the two canoes full to the top leaving barely enough room for each of us to sit – one in front and one in the rear of each canoe. We had to take everything we needed for the next eight day – food, tent, water, coolers, etc. we had gotten to the launch point later than we had expected and had to talk the ranger into letting us launch late, knowing that we would be pushing the end of daylight before we arrived at our camping platform hours away in the middle of the swamp. Once he saw us safely in the canoes and ready to shove off, her got in his truck and left. We were off!


What awaited us was to be the adventure we all had anticipated for months now. Days of gliding through still dark water, observing wild life, and risking health and hygiene for the sake of doing it! We had miles to go and only days to accomplish it in – the adventure was upon us. Paddles in hand…


Then I discovered one small problem. Although I understood the concept of steering a canoe in open water, I didn't know how. As the lead canoe launched into the swamp, my partner for the week began providing momentum for our travel from the front seat of the craft, while I sat in the back with the duel task of paddling and guiding our boat by using my paddle as a rudder, as well. We zigged. We zagged - and quickly lagged behind.


Point – If you are going to paddle a boat to an adventure, learn to paddle.


The lesson is simple enough, but how often do we get it wrong? Life is a journey – vocations, relationships, self actualization and countless other adventures await us, and how often do we impatiently launch into one thing or another with out taking the time to allow ourselves the learning we need to be able to successfully navigate the trip.


I’m not suggesting we have to be an expert before we try anything new. I am suggesting that some adventures need a mix of experience, maturity and competency before we jump into them. I’ll leave the specific applications of this ‘point’ to your own thought processes. I’ll also state that the greatest lesson I've ever learned is that if I’m going to navigate this vessel of my ‘self’ through life, I needed to spend some time learning the art of doing just that.


In the swamp that day, I had three experienced men who helped me learn what I needed to know – enough to get the boat straight and roughly on course. They never let me forget it, but we did make our first platform just after dark.

Blog moving...and Gender Variants

Hopefully, in a few days this blog will be moving to my new site - http://www.kimewilliams.com.

In the mean time I have been wondering about some gender issues. I have noticed - with all due reverence and distance - an interesting discussion over at Simmonne's about 'bums' - butts. The discussion has been mainly among women and has been a delightful, if playful, affirmation of physical attributes. It is lovely, actually, that these ladies are so supportive, complimentary and encouraging of each other's appearance.

Which got me to wondering if men would be similarly impassioned to each other. The following is the imagined conversation that went on in my head:

Me: Hey, Dave... I was reading this woman's blog about liking her own butt, and how interesting it was that the ladies that comment were celebrating their favorite's among their own and each others body parts. Do you have a favorite physical attribute?

Dave: Dude. You're gay. I got your body part right here! Hey - where was that site? Do they post pictures?

Yep. What was I thinking?


The Thinning of One

The Thinning of One


If I am not careful

With my thoughts

My ideas

Plans

Dreams


I will become thin

On artistic endeavors

Of creativity

Possibilities

Virility


Thin

Is transparent

Lifeless etching

On contemptuous bones

The Other Side of the Coin?!

Is it just me, or does this 'funny' line seem a bit discounting.

"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
  - Cindy Gardner

What if i were to say, "What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 30 pounds."

How many women would be on my case about my abusive humor? So, why is it that we are more accepting of this towards men. This quote appeared on "The Quotations Page" and was populated to my iGoogle home page. 

I feel so used...


ForestFear

Remember when

We found the forest

Together

Intense, alluring and terrible

We cowered in fear

Shadows danced

Masked marauders set on our capture

Thorns, impenetrable barriers

Pole arms of razor steel

To strip flesh and life from bone

 

Time

 

We eventually found our way

Safely among these harrowing acquaintances

Shadows became nuances of light

Painting images of complex contrast upon

Canvases of hope

Spears’ edges, properly marked and navigated

Became safe havens

Briar patches of protection

 

Time

 

Now, you and I

Are bored and dumb

Silently wishing for

Another forest to conquer