My Attitude Can Whip Your Attitude

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” –William James

I spent 8 years in higher education (earn two degrees), 15 years beyond that as a pastor for a mainline denomination, and studied human psychology, pastor counseling and theology. It took a man with no more than a high school education and a background in construction to teach me something real about people, about me.

I was having a bad day and it wasn't even 10:00 am. I’d had an argument with my wife. My children were not behaving the way I wanted them to, and my work schedule for the day was so packed that I knew I wouldn't be able to get all of it done. My brain hurt, my back hurt and I pretty much hated everything and everybody at that moment.

My boss at the time took note of my bad attitude and asked me to come into his office. I did. He listened to my story and then paused before saying, “You have two choices this morning. You can stay pissed and have a sorry day, or you can do something about your attitude.” He reached in the desk drawer and handed me a card* that resembled one of those “do not disturb” door hangers. On the front and back were a series of saying, positive affirmations. He told me to take it and if I wanted to change my attitude to read the saying out load on the way to my first appointment for that day. My attitude wasn't very receptive. I thought of all the psychological cliques that I knew. I thought about how what I was going through was much bigger than a few clever and witty sayings. I thought of a hundred reasons why his suggestion was, at best, inadequate. I didn't challenge him. I took the card and headed for the truck. As I walked out of his office he said one more thing, “I bet you’re too chicken to try it.”

I smiled and for some reason warmed up to the idea of proving him wrong. On the way to my first appointment, I read them out load:

“I will win. Why? I’ll tell you why – because I have faith courage and enthusiasm.” 
“Today I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.” 
“I see opportunity in every challenge.”
“When I fail, I only look at what I did right.”

“I’ll never take advice from someone more messed up than I am.”

The readings continued, and so did the change in my attitude. There is great power in the words we speak to ourselves, and by the time I was done – I did feel better and begin to think on the things I could do to be effective and successful that day. I have never forgotten that lesson.

So, I believe who we are begins with what we believe and what we believe is created by what we do every day.

3 Offensive Public Speaking Tips

After one of my earliest public presentations (I was, as they say, still 'wet behind the ears') ended, many people filed by and spoke words of appreciation and encouragement to me. After almost everyone else had left an elderly lady walked over to me and gave me some words of advice I have never forgotten.

“Young man,” she said, “You need a good job for a beginner. I have some advice for you, if you want it.”

I felt a little slighted, but told her I would welcome her feedback.

“Well,” she continued,” Remember these three things: 1. Stand up so they can see you. 2. Speak up so they can hear you, and 3. Once you have said what you came to say, Shut Up. You did OK on the first two, but you kept talking too long tonight. Leave us a little room for thinking”

Then she hugged me and shuffled off.

I eventually got over the injury she inflicted on my pride, but I have never gotten over her words. Time and again I have returned to those words.

1. Stand Up – there are numerous skills that the public speaker needs to master in order for our appearance to assist in our communication.  We need to be seen as  a part of the message we are communicating.
2. Speak Up – clearly spoken, well chosen words projected to the back of the room will always command attention.
3. Shut Up – Every day presentation should have a beginning, a middle and an end. The end should be as precise as the beginning and must always leave room for people to draw their own conclusions and do their own thinking.

Good advice for all of us who speak in public. What are your early lessons in public speaking?

About Something

It's high time I blogged about something. There. Glad that's done.

5+ Words that Make Your Mind Work

A few years back, I developed the habit of inserting carefully chosen words into my speech in order to demand those within ear shot attend to the task of actually listening. I especially enjoy using commonly known but uncommonly used words when answering the harmless question, “How are you?” Faced with an unexpected response and a smile, people will almost always break from their non-thinking routine into a real human exchange. I like offering that to the people in my world and find that they seem to like it, too.

Here are 5 of my favorites.

1. Stellar
2. Splendid
3. Grand
4. Buoyant
5. Delightful

The added bonus – when I tell people I am stellar, I often discover I am!





A word about "Word Smith"



word (wûrd)
n.
1. A sound or a combination of sounds, or its representation in writing or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning and may consist of a single morpheme or of a combination of morphemes.

smith (sm th)
n.
1. A metalworker, especially one who works metal when it is hot and malleable. Often used in combination: a silversmith; a goldsmith.
2. A blacksmith.
3. One who makes or works at something specified. Often used in combination: a locksmith; a wordsmith.

word•smith (wûrd sm th )
n.
1. A fluent and prolific writer, especially one who writes professionally.
2. An expert on words.



And finally- Turning, Spraining and Breaking Phrases

I love a well turned phrase or saying. Be it of colloquial origin or something crafted in context, clever phrases interest me.

My mother punctuates many of her statements with, “Don’t Ya Know?” It isn’t intended so much as a question as a way of emphasizing a fact as she has stated it.

My grandmother is known for coining the phrase, in a moment of Southern Bell disgust, second to none, “That just makes my ass want a cup of coffee.” I’m not sure how it means what it means, but there is no doubt what it means.

One of my former colleagues often would say he was, “Frosted Flakes Great!” That one needs little explanation.

And, although I’m not sure of the origin in my own family mythology, somewhere I picked up the proclamation that one can be “Finer than frog hair.”

Do you have any such turned, twisted or mangled phrases you can share? Feel free. Why it would be “gooder than snuff and not half as dusty,” I’m sure!

New Year's Resolution - Be A Turnstone

Last December I set some 2012 Goals. I don't like resolutions or promises, I like goals. I especially like goals in writing. I don't work from written goals nearly often enough (maybe that could be a 2013 goal), but when I do - it is amazing how well it works.

Last year, about this time, I set these goals:

1. Celebrate today - everything we do, each moment we live is too precious to be treated as a passing fancy. I will better live in the now.

2. Laugh harder - there are too many minutes between belly laughs so intense that they make me cry.

3. Pray deeper - it is time to embrace an ancient and powerful oracle once again.

 All in all, I met these goals more often than not in 2012. #2 was especially helpful and challenging. Life on life's terms can suck the joy right out of you, unless you tenaciously keep perspective. Part of my #2 was completing my book, Wishful Preaching: Things I Wish I'd Said From The Pulpit. Writing it and sharing it with others has kept me laughing.

I'm still working on my specific set of goals for this year, but I have one piece of it nailed down. I want to live like a bird in 2013 - a particular kind of bird, the Turnstone.

Turnstone at work

Living along the seashore, the Turnstone feeds on insect and animal life near the water line. Like the sea gull, sandpiper and countless other shore birds, it is dependent on the food it can find. Shore birds search the surf's edge and beach sand for the unsuspecting bug, crab or minnow   However, the Turnstone has developed a habit of doing more than hunting on the surface of things. The Turnstone, as it's name suggest, will use it's hardy beak and strong neck to flip over shells, rocks and seaweed to uncover a meal that other shore birds will miss entirely. I feel a life-lesson analogy coming on...

It seems that I need a bit of Turnstone in the days ahead. I don't want to just react to what appears in front of me, or crawls across my path in the months ahead. I want to look into the crevices of life, search for the nourishment that hides beneath the surface of each day, flip over apparent failures and see what can be uncovered. Too often we give up. Frequently we accept less. NO! I say. Let's enter this new year with the determination to uncover the richness of our particular lives and the strength to crack it open and feast on the victory!

Will you join me in a Turnstone New Year?

Christmas Gift Ideas #5 - Big Boss Baking

Big Boss Baking Company! They have the absolute BEST granola on the planet. Buy a bunch and use them as last minute gift giving options.

Local Triad NC couple Lavinia and Rodney have gone GOOD! They actually upgraded there garage to a commercial kitchen and so everything is literally "homemade!" I'm not sure what they put in their granola but it's so good that The Fresh Market has picked it up for their stores.

It's a great gift!

Socially Rude and The New Family Christmas Photo

Over at Netchicks Marketing blog, the new standard in family Christmas photos has been revealed!

I laughed and then I had one of those "things that make you go HUM moments." The blog post asks if smart phones are making us socially dumb. Good question. As I read, I realized that for many of us the word 'social' is being dramatically realigned to refer to...well...the stuff we do with our heads down into our smart phones.

Then I had a few more thoughts.

The presence of mobile devices has changed the way we interact. Is it "bad" or making us dumb? I read an interesting book last year The Shallows, by Nicolas Carr that suggests the problem is larger than mobile devices and dangerously close to causing a rewiring of our brains. Carr is a bit over zealous in his claims, but it's a good read and contains some great research.

As a public speaker, I would contend that the speaking environment has been dramatically changed by mobile devices and Social Media. Speakers once depending on word, vocal inflection and gestures to all work together in a precisely developed symphony of presentation that required rapt attention of the audience. We can no longer be assured that people are, at any given moment actually listening or watching us. What to do? We can strive to embrace the change and adapt to it - there are some interesting possibilities available - 

1. using other's Social clout to market your ideas and brand by inviting people to interact via Social Media

2. adopting a social vernacular to engage users. "This is tweet worthy"

3. providing short (less than 140 characters) points and quotes

4. letting people know when you need them to stop, look and listen

5. keep Social handles and hash tags visible throughout the presentation

Like it or not, Social Media and mobile devices are a means of communicating information, and what is a good presentation if not information that is educational, motivational and fun to share?

All of that said, we do need to balance our use of these devices and media and have a low tolerance for what we experience as rude behavior in social situations.

What do you consider rude smart phone behavior?

Couple of Photos

Gift Ideas #4 - Donate and Send a Card

Looking for a good way to thank a business client or a long-distance contact during Christmas?

Let Crisis Control Ministry save you time during this busy holiday season! Place a Holiday Honor Card order and we will give you a little more time to spend with family and friends.

For a minimum donation of $5 per card, Crisis Control Ministry will beautifully hand address, stamp with a holiday stamp and mail your cards for you, giving you more time to enjoy the holidays. If you prefer to address and sign the cards yourself, they can mail them to you.

GET YOUR HOLIDAY CARDS!

Blogger iPad app

Just testing the recent blogger iPad app. It provides a more complete interface allowing for greater ease in adding photos. The label feature is front and center.