Top Holiday Memories - Episode 11

From this year…

My wife heard a crunching sound coming from the living room and after investigating caught her dog, Sunnie, (note when he is bad he is her dog) making a snack out of one of the ornaments. Sunnie was chewing on a low hanging Gingerbread Man Ornament – now a one legged Ginger Bread Man ornament. My wife recued the ornament and re-hung it higher on the tree – leaving the recent Gingerbread Man amputee for others to see and wonder about.

I guess that Ginger Bread Man didn’t “run, run, run as fast as you can” – fast enough…

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 10

There are so many Christmas songs. We each remember hymns, carols and tunes from year to year. They’re always one or two ‘new’ songs published each year as artists try to share new twists and themes for the season.

I’ll never forget the year I heard “The 12 Redneck Days of Christmas” for the first time.

(Chorus)(Sung)

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets, Tin a' Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of Redman, 6 cans of spam... 5 flannel shirts..., 4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin dogs, and some parts to a Mustang GT…

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 9

Certain Christmas gifts speak for themselves. It seems my grandmother and grandfather got on a gift theme for a couple of years – gifts that sing.

Two of my favorites were “Billy Bass,” the wall mounted bass that would fold out from the wall and sing “Take Me To the River” and the stuffed reindeer that song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” when you squeezed its hand. My granddad, then pushing 90+ years old, would get endless joy from introducing each member of the family to the sounds of Bill Bass and Grandma’s Reindeer.”

Some Christmas gifts speak for themselves – literally.

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 8

It isn’t common to have animals taking up residence in your Christmas tree, much less reptiles! A while back, I took to owning an iguana. Purchased a couple of months before Christmas, the second Christmas found my iguana, Grendle, almost three feet long and prone to wander about the house when let out of his cage. He seemed to like sitting along the back of the sofa most, yet one day this mini-Godzilla disappeared. We all looked for him for hours. No luck. Then, my oldest step-daughter gasped and pointed in the direction of the Christmas tree.

Our iguana had nestled in among the branches and seemed to be enjoying the warmth of the lights. From that day forward, until the tree was taken down that year, he would blot for the tree whenever he was released from the cage. It was fun watching visitors discover the beast in the tree.

So, what’s in your Christmas tree?

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 7

His wallet was tattered, held together by carefully placed tape and a couple of rubber bands. Being a child of the “Great Depression” my grandfather never believed in wasting anything that had the least bit of use in it – including the remnants of his brown leather wallet.

My grandmother, Nana as she is known to all of us, rarely got the chance to surprise my grandfather. He was just too quick mentally and perceptive about his surroundings, but this year she knew she had gotten one by him. She had bought him a new wallet and carefully wrapped it and placed it at the back of the Christmas tree. Wanting to make sure her gift would be the only wallet, she had secretly told the rest of the family about her plan. Every adult knew – except my grandfather.

Christmas eve we all gathered and opened presents. My grandfather opened Nana’s last. As he carefully released the tape, unfolded the paper and lifted the gift from the box, we all saw his old, torn wallet. “Who in the world gave me an old rotten wallet,” he exclaimed. As everyone watched on shock, he continued, “Why, I’ve a perfectly good wallet right here.” As he lifted Nana’s gift from his pants pocket – it was clear to all of us that he had switched the wallets and rewrapped the box sometime earlier in the weeks preceding Christmas.

To this day we all still chuckle about it and Nana – well she still pretends to be mad.

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 6

My maternal grandparents lived in the motel they owned and ran on Ocean Boulevard in Myrtle Beach, S.C. The living room had a large picture window that looked out over the front porch and onto the street below. The Christmas tree always went in front of the window.

My grandparents were the first to get an artificial tree, and they went all out. The tree was silver metallic and had ornaments, but no lights. The lights were provided by a large floodlight sitting on the floor beside the tree, shining through a revolving color wheel that changed the light – and thus the tree color – from red to green to white to blue. It was amazingly different and I was enthralled for about 30 minutes. They only used that tree one year.

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 5

My Aunt Betty always did an amazing job wrapping presents. Not only did she hide the tape beneath the folds (this was before double sided tape), but even the wrapping paper with patterns, met and matched at every seam, while the bows, always handmade, top each present with brilliant color and design. Aunt Betty’s presents were a work of art. My Grandmother was always quick to inform us that Betty COULD do those, because she had plenty of time - not having any kids of her own and all – “bless her heart.”

Years later, after Betty and Bobby had children, her wrapping still made me marvel.

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 4

Then there was the time that without any provocation and no history of misbehavior, Eleanor the Siamese cat leaped from the ground into the Christmas tree and sent it crashing to the floor. My in-laws, who housed the cat, subsequently tied the tree to the door hinge with twine ever year – even after Eleanor died.

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 3

I don’t know what possessed me. Most of us were standing back stage in the elementary school cafeteria that doubled as our auditorium. I was in the fourth grade and we had just begun to plan for the Christmas program. We were all singing America and although I was always an outgoing child, I didn't know the first thing about singing but when we got to “…above the fruited plains” I couldn't help myself. Something deep inside of me expanded and I sang so loudly that the music teacher rang back stage shouting, “Who is that!?”

I sang “O Holy Night” as a solo that year. It was one of my first “on stage” moments. It is one of my mother’s all time favorite memories – mine too.

Top Holiday Memories - Episode 2

The colors of blue, green, red and bright white danced across the ceiling; the patterns always different - an intertwining of light, creating brief illusions of texture and living shapes. If I listened closely I could hear the ping of the bulbs as they flashed individually on and off. I lie on my back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling watching for repeat patterns and tried to imagine what would come next. My thoughts flashed from the lights to the coming of Christmas. What was in the present under the tree wrapped in the bright green paper with my name on it?

I could have stayed there forever. In some ways, I guess I did.