From replacing candy corn with popcorn to dropping oranges into trick-or-treat bags, people have tried countless ways to sneak value, health and purpose into Halloween. Please stop!

It’s true. Halloween is an indulgent, twisted, perhaps even dangerous observance. Kids (of all ages) dress in costumes and rush from house to house collecting massive amounts of candy and childhood fright moments that will take serious diets and hundreds of counselling sessions to begin to overcome. Halloween is a mess…and I like it.

Maybe it’s because I’m in sales. The idea of a designated night when we can cruise form person to person asking for something and getting it – every-single-time – with not one NO, is just heavenly. Perhaps it’s my clerical background. In a world where the spiritual is so often denied – having a night when we expect to see spirits and demons everywhere, is refreshing. It could be that I’m just too puritanical and that an evening when sugar indulgence is the rule is a much needed respite from the guilt I feel every time I eat a Snickers bar! It could just be the pure joy of running screaming through the streets dressed like Spider Man. Whatever the reason, I like the mess of Halloween. 

So, please don’t mess up my Halloween by offering me alternative foods, safe costume options, supportive parenting tips and glow-stick safety guidelines. 

Let’s just rush in, dive head first, mouths wide open and screaming. Ok? I WANT CANDY!!!