1. That favorite dish your mom makes is still as good as you remember.
2. Somebody in the family is in trouble with the law again this year.
3. You are probably the only one driving a Honda.
4. Smoking is still expected inside at all times.
5. There is NOT, no matter how much we talk about it, an annual family tradition.
6. You will be expected to participate in the annual family tradition.
7. You are expected at Christmas if you didn’t visit for Thanksgiving.
8. Football will be explained with hunting analogies.
9. Hunting will be explained with football analogies.
10. There will be no raw, steamed, green or leafy vegetables at the holiday table.
11. There is always something that needs to be fetched from the store.
12. You will talk for hours and never really say anything.
13. No matter how hard you try not to, you will spend hours trying to figure out what everyone is really saying.
14. You are related to everyone there and you won’t know several people.
15. Everyone there loves each other as best they know how.
And, You will either leave this holiday gathering thinking your family is a dysfunctional tragedy or the funniest assortment of people you could ever imagine – it totally depends on you.