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"addiction"

Seize the Day and Thoughts On Failure

Pardon me while I meander through a field of thoughts...

Sometimes we fail and it's our fault. Can we then acknowledge that we have been beset and seized by our own bindings. such shackles and mire may have to this point held us fast to our own mediocrity. Can we then to love our failure and forgive ourselves? We travel from such limitations through the pain and angst of emerging into our next level of personal liberty.




Today, we might become aware of personal limitations and thus of the fresh and vital opportunity that awaits us.

Carpe diem is often misquoted as "seize the day." a better rendering of it is to "gather the day." Gathering the day is both a reference to making order of the day(to gather it together) and harvesting the day. The implication is that all that we need is robustly present and waiting around us, a field of possibilities - or at least the next necessary possibility. It is therefore our destiny, our very calling to claim each day unto us. Such effort is most often the doing of simple routine, seemingly mundane tasks. Such  effort does, eventually, result in the very real manifestation of our dreams.

Just for today, may we renew ourselves and simply do the next right thing. Carpe diem!

Quick Thought...



I'll come back to this thought, I'm sure. I was mowing the lawn last week and had this thought...


How can I invite you to peace when you're so comfortable in your familiar chaos?

Thoughts On Failure


Sometimes we fail and it's our fault. We must acknowledge that we have been beset and seized by our own bindings. such shackles and mire may have, to this point held us fast to our own mediocrity. This truth directs us to love our failure and forgive ourselves. We travel from such limitations through the pain and angst of struggling free and into our personal liberty.



Today, we may have become more aware of such limitations and thus of the fresh and vital opportunity that awaits you. Carpe diem is often misquoted as "seize the day." a better rendering of it is to "gather the day." Gathering the day is both a reference to making order of the day(to gather it together) and harvesting the day. The implication is that all that we need is robustly present and waiting. It is therefore our destiny, our very calling to claim each day unto us. Such effort is most often the assembly of simple, singular, seemingly routine tasks. Such simple effort does, eventually, result in the very real manifestation of our dreams.

Just for today, may we renew ourselves and simply do the next right thing. Carpe diem!

We Are All Cyborg - Resistance is Futile

Take 8 minutes and watch this video from TED talk. Amber Case is a "cyborg anthropologist.'


Recovery - A Poem About Personal Growth



Recovery 

It is so strange to look
One day
And find broken and rusted
Upon the floor
The shackles that once bound
Me
And I wonder
How long I have been holding
Myself prisoner
And I wonder
How long it has been since
I danced

Solitude verses Loneliness

What is the real difference between solitude and loneliness if not a spiritual matter?

Cutting to the chase, I sometimes find myself alone and enjoying the simple peace and independence that such time allows: reading, writing, listening to music, or riding the currents of thoughts and dreams. This is a type of alone time I truly cherish - I think of this when I use the word solitude.

Then there are times when I'm uncomfortably alone. Times when my thoughts and emotions run chaotic and intense, times when tumultuous tides seem to push me about from one feeling to another - and my natural reaction is to try to change the way I feel from the outside. These are dangerous times. Strangely enough, I am as likely to have these moments of loneliness when I am in a crowd of people as when I am alone. Loneliness seems to come from internal unmet needs, a sense - real or perceived - of lack, of want.

There are also moments when, as I live my life and learn the patterns of relationships and inward realities - that my loneliness will turn to solitude.

Recently, I came across this song by Suzanne Vega that captures part of this experience beautifully. I do like her poetic lyrics.

All Alone - A Poem About Solitude

All Alone

silence, worse still
the echoes of my own thoughts
voices cascading
endless cackling

senses strain to see
hear another here
amid the cavern of craving
infantile cries

then all certainty
more than breath
within the contractions of this case
another is with me

belief.

Digital Disengagement



Digital Disengagement

I'm confessing upfront that I don't know where this experiment will lead, but I do know that I must do it.

I have been spending too much time engaged with the Internet lately. Between my work (Digital Marketing Agency) and my personal 'play' in the realms of Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Four Square, I have been constantly engaged with the digital world. I enjoy all of the connections that this interactive world allows. I have people who I know and value only via the web and others who share with me in the flesh-and-blood world and enhance that sharing via the virtual world. I enjoy the pace of interactions, the laughter, the positive massages and the extension of myself that Digital allows me.

My work involves some measure of interaction on the web, as well. Yet, when I really analyze my work-related time (and I have this week), very little other than email and research is critical to my goals vocationally.

I do enjoy the digital world and its constantly changing and ever teaching environment keeps me stimulated and growing, but I am paying a price.

Here's the rub. I've noticed some changes in my life - more my experience and enjoyment of life - that just won't do. I will not go into the details here, but will generalize my concern thus: I am not a natural child of the digital world and to continue to process and engage at such an intense and constant level is tiring and is changing the way I think, process and most importantly the way I care for myself.

So, here's my confession. I will be backing away from the Internet. If you are a regular reader here, you will likely not notice a difference in my blogging frequency. Blogging, as I practice it, is less about frantic, quick thought and more about thinking, writing, and creating. I'll not stop blogging. I am backing off of Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn in terms of frequency of interactions. The same is true with my non-work related email interactions.

I will be blocking time (some of the 86,400 seconds of every day) for non-digital engagement, and limiting my online time with a timer. My commitment is to the next 21 days. Already, this weekend as refreshed my spirit as I have only spent 3 hours online and left my iPhone sitting by itself for hours at a time. I have spent the newly reclaimed time: hiking, reading, listening (just sitting and listening) to music and song lyrics, playing with my dogs, and talking face-to-face with family and friends. I like it.

Wish me success.


Photo taken October 2008, Appalachian Trail Hike

The Puppet Man



The Puppet Man

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears or ease my pain

see my marionettes take your stage
watch your laughter, feel your rage
safely sitting
program in hand
three cheers for the puppet man

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

i see your faces, swoons and frowns
watching fixed, puppet take puppet down
they're not real, you carefully remind
while i silently die standing behind

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

with human hate they dance for you
showing the worst the we can do
superb! delight! encore' you shout
so once more the toys come out

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

the lights are gone, empty isles now
i fall broken, wondering how
these hands will heal, gather strength again
so, you can watch through my gift, friend

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

see my marionettes take your stage
watch your laughter, feel your rage
safely sitting program in hand
three cheers for the puppet man

*note: i wrote this poem a few years back while struggling with managing the internal demands that i often felt from others' external behavior around me. i think as children we often take on the role of performing for the 'big' people in our world - and although maturity requires us to grow more autonomous, we many of us struggle well into adulthood to perform for others... it is only a problem when the price is our very health, peace and well being.

**Photo used by permission

Not a Relief for Haiti Post

I am touched by the tragedy in Haiti and the outpouring of support to those affected. I must, however, take this moment and stand on a soap-box cause of my own.


The current death toll is reported at over 200,000 with 1.5 million rendered homeless. This is a tragic event, similar to the tsunami of 2004. I have and will continue to offer my financial contributions and prayers. I hope you will do the same.


My soap box is that in the United States alone, there are over 180,000 deaths annually due to alcohol and other drugs (not including drug and alcohol related traffic deaths). The estimate cost to Americans each year for illicit drug use and related crime is around $65 billion.[1] There is numbness to this astounding reality. We don’t hear pleas from the White House to text for support, or celebrities and emergency response groups banding together to raise awareness and funds. What is more, how quickly would we respond if the technology and expertise to prevent the earthquake in Haiti had been available? Yet, much is known – both medically and socially - about the causes and treatment for addiction and those affected by it.


So, my pitch is that we must find a way of raising our awareness and response to a killer that surpasses the tragedy in Haiti every single year in the USA. At this point I would recommend a charity, program or group for you to donate to or support, but other than local programs – I’ just not aware of one good source to fund or support. So, search your local charities and give of your money and your time.


-Steps off soap box-

We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging…