If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
- Hermann Hesse
- Hermann Hesse
Viewing entries in
"emotion"
By the last micro thread of the spider’s web
Hanging
In a delicate balancing between desire to be free
From the casket of this cocoon
And to be safe from the fall to the ground
How came I upon this entanglement
But by little things, single threads of erroneous
Actions
Quiet discontentment resting feather-light
Clinging unassumingly to the sleeve of my façade
Until
Movement through my own self
Became hindered and slowly, progressed to
Halting proportions lost in one immobile
Case
Suspended by the last filament of my attachment
To you
Hanging
In a delicate balancing between desire to be free
From the casket of this cocoon
And to be safe from the fall to the ground
How came I upon this entanglement
But by little things, single threads of erroneous
Actions
Quiet discontentment resting feather-light
Clinging unassumingly to the sleeve of my façade
Until
Movement through my own self
Became hindered and slowly, progressed to
Halting proportions lost in one immobile
Case
Suspended by the last filament of my attachment
To you
We are far enough into the New Year that I have heard and read my fair share of New Year’s posts and opinions. I guess I’ll take a moment and share my thoughts.
I do well to look not so much at what I want to change, but what I am currently doing that is working. Even a momentary reflection on the characteristics of my life that contribute to my success reveals simple habits that, while often difficult to follow, are essential to getting anything done. This year I am beginning with a New Year’s Renew list. I am renewing my commitment to the habits and actions that are a part of my success and then looking at a few things I want to accomplish with these proven, daily habits. The difference is that I am focusing on resolute living rather than living a list of resolutions.
Resolute Living
- Each day I will decide to abstain from alcohol and other drugs. I have made this choice daily since
- Pray each morning for “Knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry that out.”
- Respect other peoples (and my) time – be where I have agreed to be when I have agreed to be there. I am not perfect at executing this, but I am committed to the value of it.
- Be mindful of the Rotary
- Is it the Truth?
- Is it fair to all concerned?
- Will it build good will and better friendships?
- Is it beneficial to all concerned?
- Listen to others and seek to understand their point of view.
- Pay my bills on time.
- Exercise multiple times each week.
- Keep my weight between 145-155lbs.
- Take the medications prescribed by my doctor as prescribed.
- Hike.
- Get a full night’s sleep (6-8 hrs) most nights.
- Read books for fun.
- Read books for education.
- Maintain a blog.
- Save some money each month.
- Tell jokes (no matter how lame).
- Read the comics.
- Volunteer to help others in some way every month.
- Work the steps of the simple program that I have chosen to help me better live my life.
- Never take the advice of someone more messed up than I am.
- Write about the creative ideas and images that move me.
- Work faithfully and dependably for my income.
- Take a vacation with my wife.
Resolutions for 2009
- Attend a writing workshop/class.
- Speak publicly ten times.
- Submit something written for publication.
- Hike the Alum Cave Trail.
- Purchase a new Audio/Video system for the den.
I am sure there is more, but this is what I have for here, for now…
soft clouds
of unknowing
drifting awareness
drifting awareness
of twilight
moments
moments
of passion, pain
find us
and lead us
home
again
again
Her hair
Strummed by tears
Falls a mess upon the pillows
The blues
Broadcasted in waves
Washes him down off her
The morning will find her empty, but clean.
I have a theory. Women Christmas shop. Men Christmas hunt. That is the way it should be.
This past Saturday, I took my list and went hunting for those items. My goal- kill something and bring it home.
The way I see it, I'm programed to hunt. If I need meat - I go out and look for meat. If it is made out of meat, I kill it and bring it home. Done. Same goes for Christmas hunting. I needed several specific gifts and if it doesn't smell, look, act, and taste like one of those gifts - it doesn't matter.
The end result is that it took only a few hours to complete my hunting. No browsing. No scoping out the potential additional gifts. Killed. Dead. Done. I did stop for another moment at the 42" plasma TVs. Sigh.
Then came the wrapping. Need I even expound on the wonder of pre-printed gift bags? Drop, tug, done.
I love Christmas.
I’ve had a battle with a nasty head/chest cold the last couple of days. I’m getting better.
Such times are a reminder to me of my need to be flexible, to allow for change. Life changes, my life changes. I don’t count it as a bad thing that I get so enmeshed in the work of living each day that I lose touch with my own frailty. It is somewhat necessary to forget that any moment life can rip us from our seemingly normal path and demand something else of us. Such a continuous awareness – of my frailty – would be immobilizing.
But, when sickness or injury comes, it is interesting to witness the struggle I have to allow for them – life changes.
Today my chest burns, my eyes are puffy, my nose and throat are tender, and it is too much effort to think and plan for tomorrow – as much as tomorrow may need plans. Today my reason is tainted by surges of emotions that hack away at my serenity and taunt my self-worth. Physical and emotional sicknesses seem to be dear bedfellows, with me at least.
So, I’ll rest and limit my number of decisions. Sometimes doing nothing is the best choice. I’ll sip tea, read and sleep and let the world wait – for me.
As you were… -cough, cough-
Such times are a reminder to me of my need to be flexible, to allow for change. Life changes, my life changes. I don’t count it as a bad thing that I get so enmeshed in the work of living each day that I lose touch with my own frailty. It is somewhat necessary to forget that any moment life can rip us from our seemingly normal path and demand something else of us. Such a continuous awareness – of my frailty – would be immobilizing.
But, when sickness or injury comes, it is interesting to witness the struggle I have to allow for them – life changes.
Today my chest burns, my eyes are puffy, my nose and throat are tender, and it is too much effort to think and plan for tomorrow – as much as tomorrow may need plans. Today my reason is tainted by surges of emotions that hack away at my serenity and taunt my self-worth. Physical and emotional sicknesses seem to be dear bedfellows, with me at least.
So, I’ll rest and limit my number of decisions. Sometimes doing nothing is the best choice. I’ll sip tea, read and sleep and let the world wait – for me.
As you were… -cough, cough-
As I strive for self actuation
Demanding more of my mind, spirit and body each day
Determined to succeed, to claim yesterday’s distant horizon
As today’s dawn
It occurs to me that I might have it all wrong
What if these images of status and position
That haunt my mind each evening are self contrived
And the resistance that pushes me backward
Each hard fought day is prophetic
What if my truth is that
This world simply needs another bum?
Demanding more of my mind, spirit and body each day
Determined to succeed, to claim yesterday’s distant horizon
As today’s dawn
It occurs to me that I might have it all wrong
What if these images of status and position
That haunt my mind each evening are self contrived
And the resistance that pushes me backward
Each hard fought day is prophetic
What if my truth is that
This world simply needs another bum?