Sunday Coffee Cup - New Year - What If!?

Well, here it is: New Year’s Day. Happy New Year! I’ve been wandering around the various Social Media platforms, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and my long list of blogs, and as expected, the current theme is all about new beginnings, resolutions and starting anew.

The end of a year (2011) and the beginning of a new year (2012) brings many of us to reflection. This morning’s Sunday Coffee Cup is no exception. Someone gave my wife this one last year (2011). If asking the right questions is the key to reflection (and I think it is), then we can get a good start with today’s inquisitive mug: What if money didn’t matter? What if you knew you could not fail? What if you could be anyone you wanted to be?

As I reflect on this year, I wonder, what if I’m already doing the right things. So often we look for new ideas, new habits and new practices. What if I look for what I am already doing that is working and just commit to continuing or amplifying those things? What if I begin this year with a deeper level of self acceptance for who I am and what I am already doing right? What if I stop striving to become something bigger, bolder and better than myself and just celebrate the me that already is?

Sure. I could lose a little weight, get more fit, read more, worry less, earn more, be more charitable, spend more time with family, be a better employee, achieve a few more professional/personal goals… and I probably will – because these things are important to me; always have been. Yet, I find myself wondering if I really need something new, something different in order to make this year, 2012, a great year. Isn’t it possible, that all I really need to do – is to keep doing the things that are working?  Maybe that is all I really need to do in order to make it happen. Maybe it is enough to be vigilant with what is already established. Maybe if I keep doing what I’m doing – I’ll keep getting what I’m getting, which (if I’m totally honest) is pretty darn good.  I do find some comfort in this thought.

Yet, the biggest comfort comes from my conviction that in the final analysis, the contribution that I make to my life is only a small part of what makes my life meaningful. It is true that no one can live my life other than me. It is true that I have full responsibility for my choices. It is also true that we all live in relationship to each other and often the significance of our living is manifest in countless and often unknown ways beyond our individual intent. How many of us have heard a student comment on the life changing actions of a single teacher only to have that teacher confess surprise at that revelation. I’ve had many experiences where people whose lives have been affected by moments from my years in ministry tell me of significant and life changing events that were ‘news to me.’ There is more going on than just what we determine and choose. It is my conviction that there is a loving, caring God at work in our lives doing far more for us and with our actions than we can fully understand.

2012 promises to be a great year because it doesn’t depend on me. I’ll do my part, for sure. I’ll keep doing the things that are working. I’ll try a few ways to better myself – and at the end of December 2012 I am already certain that –God willing – I will be celebrating another year that is great beyond my expectations.

Happy New Year.

Sunday Coffee Cup - Noel

Sometimes we have to provide the meaning.

How many times have we sung, “The First Noel?” It is a wonderful, commonly known carol. You most likely can sing it from memory – tune and verse. If you need a little help, I’ll get you started:

The first Nowell the Angel did say
Was to certain poor Shepherds in fields as they lay.
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep,
In a cold winter’s night that was so deep.

If you remember it slightly different, you are probably right, as well. There are many versions of “The First Noel,” or Nowell . It makes sense, really, considering the hymn dates back to the early 18th century and has made its way through countless Christian and popular revisions.

Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup reminds me of the popular and often misunderstood carol. Do you know what “noel” means? Perhaps. Perhaps not.  Noel derives its meaning from a French word (which came from a Latin word) that means “day of birth.” So, we are singing about the day of Jesus’ birth. It is a little difficult to ‘get’ the meaning of Noel from my coffee mug this morning.

The snoozing teddy bear and children’s block letters spelling Noel are – well – where’s the Christ in that? This morning Christ is there all right, but not because of the secularized image on the mug. No. The Christ of this Christmas morning rises, like the steam from this mug, from the beloved family, friends and fellowship of my life.  So, today – I will take the time (amid the busyness and chaos) to savor the moments of the day. The unwrapping of gifts will be symbols of the greater gift we have all been given. The indulgence of the meals will remind me of the abundant table that Christ sets before us. The laughter and tears (for both will come today) will remind me of the intensity of a life lived trusting a higher power. And this little sleeping bear, resting unknowingly upon the very word that announces Christ’s birth reminds me that because of what we celebrate this day – all is well.

Merry Christmas, my friends. Merry Christmas.


P.S. As I post this, Bing Crosby just began singing "The First Nowell" on the Panadora Christmas channel. Perfect.

Sentimental, Cruel Father

Just a quick post. Don't you love the memories that you have hanging on the Christmas tree? Here's one of my favorites.

Yes, that's my now 20+ daughter and son dressed in matching outfits! There mother and I were cruel, yes we were. Aren't they cute?

Sunday Coffee Cup – The Late, Late Show

They grow up. Kids, in each their own way, grow and learn and become themselves. In 2009, my daughter left her North Carolina home and headed west. She packed what she could into her VW Jetta and with no job and no certain place to live, headed to LA. She was banking on connections she had made during a college internship, the resilience of youthful enthusiasm and a good bit of luck to get her started down her dream path – working in television entertainment in LA.

Maneuvering her way through part time jobs, contract work and a fair share of babysitting she survived long enough for a real opportunity. Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup tells the tale of her success. She now works for The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.  This morning’s coffee is about knowing your dreams and tenaciously pursuing them.

Do you have a dream calling you? Is there one you are chasing today?

Word Wednesday - Thanksgiving Holiday Truths

First, the facts... Thanksgiving Day is a holiday celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Thanksgiving is celebrated each year on the second Monday of October in Canada and on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States. Thanksgiving in Canada falls on the same day as Columbus Day in the United States. Because of the longstanding traditions of the holiday, the celebration often extends to the weekend that falls closest to the day it is celebrated. (content taken from Wikipedia "Thanksgiving")

And now for something creative (and tasteless)...



Top 15 Southern Holiday Gathering Truths

1. That favorite dish your mom makes is still as good as you remember.
2. Somebody in the family is in trouble with the law again this year.
3. You are probably the only one driving a Honda.
4. Smoking is still expected inside at all times.
5. There is NOT, no matter how much we talk about it, an annual family tradition.
6. You will be expected to participate in the annual family tradition.
7. You are expected at Christmas if you didn’t visit for Thanksgiving.
8. Football will be explained with hunting analogies.
9. Hunting will be explained with football analogies.
10. There will be no raw, steamed, green or leafy vegetables at the holiday table.
11. There is always something that needs to be fetched from the store.
12. You will talk for hours and never really say anything.
13. No matter how hard you try not to, you will spend hours trying to figure out what everyone is really saying.
14. You are related to everyone there and you won’t know half the people.
15. Everyone there loves each other as best they know how.

Finally, You will either leave this holiday gathering thinking your family is a dysfunctional tragedy or the funniest assortment of people you could ever imagine – it depends on you.

The Social South - Murrells Inlet, SC

I grew up in South Carolina and lived in the small community of Murrells Inlet during my high school years. I loved it. We often refer to the place as "a quiet little drinking village with a fishing problem."

So, I'm headed 'home' this week to spend Thanksgiving among the Spanish moss, live oaks trees and gazing at the inlet waters as they calmly ripple and cast a dark reflection back at me. There is a certain aroma smell to Murrells Inlet - a thick mix of mud, shell fish and salt water that sticks in the back of your throat - embedded with memories.

My mother and step-father's home is one of those Thanksgiving destination places. Every walk and flavor of family life will descend on them this week. We will eat, talk, eat, laugh, eat, eat and sit lifelessly in front of the TV while planning our next trip to "The Walmarts." It will be a traditional taste of all things South.

How about you? Thanksgiving plan? Traveling?

Sunday Coffee Cup- My Sister

We all have them stashed and stacked in the cabinet. Why do we collect so many coffee mugs and cups? Some are little more than clutter. A plastic memento of a meaningless event or casual encounter with a random company. Yet, for me, what I see when I reach for a Sunday morning cup for my coffee is a cupboard full of significant life moments, memories of time well sent and people kindly known. My Sunday morning coffee cup selection is never really casual. Each time I choose a mug, I'm choosing to remember and reconnect with a segment of my life.

It seems selfish to keep all of these moments to myself, so each Sunday I'll plan on posting a Sunday Coffee Cup photo and story. Enjoy this inaugural post.

My Sister - Burp!

It was Christmas of 1999. I was just months past my departure from the ordained ministry, my spirit and my life still reeling from the trauma of personal burnout. Finances were bottomed out. I was working my first 'sales' job and beginning what would become a new career chapter. It was one of those life moments when all I had of certainty and peace was each emotion filled moment, each small rational choice and a tenuous faith that somehow God would see me through.

The trip to Myrtle Beach, SC for our extended family Christmas gathering was tentative, lacking in joy and confidence. There wer to be few gifts given, few life accomplishments to celebrate. Enter my sister.

My sister is, and mostly has been throughout her life, a mess. Sometimes that 'mess' was of the playful, mischievous childhood variety of 'mess.' A mess you find yourself admiring for tenacity, boldness and undaunted determination. Sometimes my sister's 'mess' was more of the personal life catastrophe variety. Bad choices, bad timing, bad comrades and all in the worst possible order. Mt sister was going through a 'mess' of the second variety in 1999. She was, simply put, in worse shape than I was - at least it looked like it from the outside looking in.

That year, my sister took the time and a few of her very limited dollars and bought me a Christmas present. She gave me a perfectly selected mug. When I unwrapped it, the crass imprint on the outside and the playful lettering inside the rim gave me pause. The I felt a giggle forming deep inside, a giggle that begin to bubble up into a joyous laugh.

Now, years and gallons of coffee later, I still cherish this bold, playful, timely and loving gift. It makes my Sunday cup of coffee perfect. Thanks Sis!

Are You Socially Acceptable

When I was growing up, my folks were very BIG on manners. I was taught to be polite, patient and respectful. In short, I was instructed on various behaviors to make me socially acceptable. Lately, the phrase "Socially Acceptable" has come to refer to something altogether different - how we behave on Social Media.

So, I was thinking (a risky venture, yes) about the possible parallels to the instructions I received in my youth about being socially acceptable and those needed today for Social Media. I made a list. You decide.
What I remember from my youth includes:

1. Wait your turn
2. Respect your elders
3. Say please and thank you.
4. Help others
5. Don't talk too much
6. Ask permission
7. Don't push
8. Keep yourself clean and neat
9. Don't make fun of others
10. Don't be greedy

Do you have any others to add to the list? Is there any guidance here for our Social Media behavior?

Amazing 90 Year Old Voice

My Mother In Law - at 90 years old! Enjoy.

Happy Mother's Day

As you no doubt know, I have the most amazing mother in the world. I hope your day is fantastic mom!

One of her favorite poems captured below...

The poet, Archibald Rutledge, is South Carolina native who died in 1973. He seemed to savor life and wrote both poetry and prose to capture that experience. I've looked for this poem online and have not been able to find any record of it. This photo is one I took last year from a records book on file at Brookgreen Gardens. The photo is of a stone engraving of the poem that probably dates from the 1960's.