Sunday Coffee Cup - Tallahassee

A few years back, while searching out possible retirement locations, my wife (bless her heart) and I were considering Tallahassee, Florida. Not anymore.

Florida, the often selected retirement destination for northerners who woke up one day from a Winter slumber and realized, “Hey – snow, ice, heating bills and fast paced talking is optional,” was never high on my list of retirement destinations. I’ve enjoyed visiting the glass bottom boats, reptiles shows, Flipper aquariums and sipping “all the orange juice you can drink for a dime,” but always felt that Florida was – well, not really the South.  Let’s face it, you can throw a case of darts in Miami and the closest thing to a Southern you’ll hit is a South American. Don’t get me wrong, I like diversity, but I prefer the slow drawl and sweet tea of a Southern lifestyle.

Enter my wife. Although she’s not a Southerner, she married me and that makes her – well, smart and acceptable. She also grew up (read 'went through adolescence') in Florida (read 'Fort Lauderdale') and to college at Florida State University – which is in Tallahassee – which isn’t really in Florida even though it is the capital of the state. Tallahassee is located in the Florida panhandle and is very close to Georgia and Alabama. My wife suggested that it was a possible retirement location, in Florida, in the South. Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup is a souvenir of our Tallahassee considerations.

Here is what I learned about Tallahassee:

1. It is a great city with lots to do – including worshiping regularly at the Florida State University shrine of Bobby Bowden.
2. Once you leave the city – there is really nothing else. Pine and palm forests, humidity you can bath in, heat that only makes you sweat more, an abundance of biting and stinging insects and pencil thin ‘beaches’ and ocean that looks like the froth of a day old latté.
3. Hiking consists of walking across level ground for miles, dodging spider webs and large spiders between pine trees.
4. The tea isn’t sweet enough.
5. You can’t get anywhere from Tallahassee. You have to go somewhere else first (read off the beaten track).
6. There are some very nice people who live there.

So, I don’t think we will be moving to Tallahassee for retirement. You know the old saying “It’s a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.” Well, the latter is true.

Go Seminoles! Heh.

Delta Scared Me - Clockwork Orange Style

I flew Delta this past week and now I'm afraid of Lincoln , esurance and Fairfield. Here's how it happened.

Delta Airlines Flight Safety Video

During the take-off taxi, we were shown 3 advertisements prior to the safety video - Lincoln, esurance and Fairfield Inn. I get that. Airlines aren't able to make enough money on the ticket prices, so a little advertising revenue here and there is necessary. Then, right after take-off, but before the "you may now use your portable electronic devices" announcement, the video screens fired up again and showed us the same three ads. I tried to turn off the screen glaring at me from the headrest of the seat in front of me, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I was a captive audience. Then it occurred to me - I was living a "Clockwork Orange" moment (if you are too young to know the movie reference, leave this post now and go watch the film. It's historically significant... well to my history, anyway.)

1971 A Clockwork Orange

Here's the rub, take-off is one of the most tense moments in the flying experience. Anyone who has given any thought to the process knows that if something goes wrong during those first few minutes of take-off - it is bad (we're talking THE END bad). So, if you want to program me to associate stress with your product or brand, show it to me when I'm at one of the most stressful moments of my travels. I had this same experience on my return flight as, well. Same timing. Same brands.

Thanks Delta. Thanks Lincoln, esurance and Fairfield. I now can't drive a Lincoln, insured by esurance to my meeting at the Fairfield without a nagging feeling that I might crash and die.

*Note - the limo that took me from the airport to the resort and back was - you guessed it - a Lincoln. I'm scarred for life.

My Life is Waffle House?!

It is very interesting what one can learn from listening.

Photo via Old Shoe Woman

I treated my appetite and ignored my need for low a cholesterol diet (shhhh! If you don’t tell my doctor, it doesn’t count), and had breakfast at WaffleHouse recently.

Karen is in her mid thirties, has two children and hates it when her kids stay home for snow days. She drives an older Nissan. She has a small space between her two front teeth that she tries to hide by rolling her lip over them when she is laughing. It doesn’t work.

The cook, an all but kid in his twenties, plans to get his GED this year and then study at the community college, or maybe join the Navy. He likes his job, and doesn’t cook rubber eggs. I think that is considered an accomplishment. I know my eggs were very tasty. I think his name is Mack, or Mick. He didn’t have on a name tag.

Betty is clearly the matriarch of the group. She smiles as she listens to the banter of the ‘younger’ staff. She moves effortlessly from one task to the next, often working ahead of the others. She greets regulars by their first name, or with a knowing nod. Her under the cuff comments to the others often brings a smile or a giggle. Betty is, and wants to be the Queen of the WaffleHouse.

As I sat at the counter, eating my cheese eggs, grits and butter soaked raisin toast, gazing at the laminated menu pictures of the many heart-stopping, artery clogging, cholesterol enhanced foods, this thought crossed my mind: Is there really a difference between any of our lives, other than the package that our life might reside in?

Sunday Coffee Cup - The Collection

The Fine Art of Coffee Appreciation

I've been posting the Sunday Coffee Cup reflections for some time now and I'm taking this week off. I'll be back next Sunday with a new mug, new thoughts and a opportunity for you to laugh, cry or both!

In the meantime, see if you have missed any of the past posting. See them all here Sunday Coffee Cup!

Temptation - A Poem

Temptation

lusty voices, delicacies beyond reach

desires unmet, thirst parched mutterings

grasping openings, gasping invitation

thin, glimmers move silently

among the chaos

swept away, dismissed to theory

still

the need rages, threatening to

divide soul, destroy spirit

eternal battles waged within 

us

Sunday Coffee Cup - Clear Reminder

There aren't many clear glass coffee mugs. Today's Sunday Coffee Cup is the only clear mug we have in the house. It was a gift from some friends who stopped to visit with us on their way back home to Florida. There is some debate (read - my wife and I argue over it) as to if the gift was intentional or not.

The truth (read - my opinion) is that the mug belonged to our traveling friends and they accidentally left it with us. It is an orphaned mug. However, more importantly every time I see it I'm reminded of a more famous clear glass coffee mug - and a brand with a long history.

Remember these? They were the trademarked mugs of Nescafe instant coffee. Below is a flashback look at why this new 'modern' convenience was so popular. Enjoy.

The Other Side of Kim - Kim the Preacher

Some of you may know that I spent 15 years as a pastor with a mainline denomination. It's true. I want to let the readers here know about a new blog I'm running to focus on matters of a religious and spiritual nature.

My thought, as my life has change in the decade since I left ordained ministry, is that there are things I wish I had said from the pulpit. No regrets - just a former pastor's way of sharing about crazed religion, absurd theology and hilarious stories. Let me invite you to WishfulPreaching.com. 

You can also find me on Twitter and Facebook.

The 'price' of MBA Success. Is it worth it?

I have three 'kids' with 4 year college degrees and one who went (more or less) straight from high school into the world of employment.  Has the track to vocational success changed? I received an email last week from someone at MBA Online and they shared the info-graphic below. I found it interesting enough to post. What do you think?


Created by: MBAOnline.com

Sunday Coffee Cup – Tropical Reminder

I love the tropics. Give me 90 degree heat and 70% humidity, clear skies, crystal waters to relax in and I’m good – for a very long time. Lucky for my wife, she understands this and when we talk about vacations, the options never include heading north unless it is the peak of summer – and even then – I need a very good reason to not head to an island.

I love places like these: Bermuda, The Virgin Islands, Cozumel Mexico, The Bahamas, The Florida Keys, South Florida and in a pinch, I’ll even settle for the Carolina coast. Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup is for when I’m not at any of those places.

My mother gave us four mugs and matching saucers set for Christmas one year. They’re tropical. They make me smile and remind me of hot sun and bright sand. It isn’t anywhere near like being there, but it serves up a sizable cup of coffee and the occasion to remember and plan for tropical trips...like these.

Bermuda - Marley Beach

Bermuda

Bermuda - Witch's Island

Bermuda

Maho Bay Camps - US Virgin Islands

Cozumel 1976

Ahhhhh.... i remember them all!

Writer's Prompt - Reminder: "Blasphemy and Unicorns"

This strange tale was prompted by "The Tenth Daughter of Memory" and is purely a creative writing piece and should only be read as a fantastic tale.

Blasphemy and Unicorns

I'm not sure what prompted the man standing in the shadows to speak to me, but he did and I remember exactly what he said as his words rattled forth.


I tell you, sometimes, stories are more complex than they seem and truth more strange than you expect.


They say it was a spear that pierced his side that dark day, but we know different, we who slide to and fro through the shadows of humanity's denials. We are the substance of fantastical tales, of angels, demons, leprechauns, sprites and of fairy twists and turns. Ours is the story of how the divine is called to watch the human journey, to document their story and on rare occasion we are needed to brush that story back on course - not a defined course, but on at least a path of momentary preservation from a perilous extinction. That day we were simply watching another pinnacle of human cruelty acted out with a hill, a cross and the delicate flesh of God - the brush was about to take place, but not by us this time, by something much larger. 


The guard held the spear in his hand and other than a passing evaluation of the particular smoothness of the spear's tip, had no idea. He was following the simple instructions of his superior, "Grab that spear and thrust it into the Jew's side. I have no intent on waiting here all night for him to die. I have places to be." He was also following the direction of God.


We all know, though it may surprise you to hear, dear mortal, that Unicorns carry the very power of life in their veins. It is said and is true that unicorn tears can heal the flesh. It is said and is true that unicorns can ride on the breath of life and travel between heaven and earth in the beat of a monarch's wing. However, what is not said, never spoken about is the resurrection power of the fallen unicorn's horn. 


When a unicorn dies, which isn't very often, the life of the divine beast bursts into its horn, spiraling upward, deep into the ivory tip where it is driven by the spinning of life's essence, infinitely packed and powerful and then bursts into the heavens to be reabsorbed by the Divine. This moment is known as Cretaten.  What only I know is that, if by some precisely timed tragic and horrendous event, the horn is cut from the unicorn before the Cretatan is complete, the divine is captured in the horn. That horn would be of infinite value, and if it ever accidentally found itself somewhere, say perhaps fashioned into the tip of a common spear, it would be an unnatural weapon that would be more likely to transform life anew than kill. Such things could never happen, we would never allow it. However, it might be allowed to happen, even be planned, if a resurrection miracle was what was needed.


But, you didn't hear it from me.