Re-post and Finale' - Sunday Coffee Cup

The following was the first Sunday Coffee Cup post. I have been considering ending the series (mainly because I have already told all of my mug stories), and it seems fitting that as my sister was the subject of the first post - her passing this past week should be the occasion for my last Sunday Coffee Cup post.


You can read them all here. So, please settle in and enjoy how this all began and know this will be the last weekly post of the Sunday Coffee Cup. I'm sure a significant mug may find it's way into my life and end up here sporadically...however, here's the ending as it was the beginning...

We all have them stashed and stacked in the cabinet. Why do we collect so many coffee mugs and cups? Some are little more than clutter. A plastic memento of a meaningless event or casual encounter with a random company. Yet, for me, what I see when I reach for a Sunday morning cup for my coffee is a cupboard full of significant life moments, memories of time well sent and people kindly known. My Sunday morning coffee cup selection is never really casual. Each time I choose a mug, I'm choosing to remember and reconnect with a segment of my life.

It seems selfish to keep all of these moments to myself, so each Sunday I'll plan on posting a Sunday Coffee Cup photo and story. Enjoy this inaugural post.

My Sister - Burp!

It was Christmas of 1999. I was just months past my departure from the ordained ministry, my spirit and my life still reeling from the trauma of personal burnout. Finances were bottomed out. I was working my first 'sales' job and beginning what would become a new career chapter. It was one of those life moments when all I had of certainty and peace was each emotion filled moment, each small rational choice and a tenuous faith that somehow God would see me through.

The trip to Myrtle Beach, SC for our extended family Christmas gathering was tentative, lacking in joy and confidence. There were to be few gifts given, few life accomplishments to celebrate. Enter my sister.

My sister is, and mostly has been throughout her life, a mess. Sometimes that 'mess' was of the playful, mischievous childhood variety of 'mess.' A mess you find yourself admiring for tenacity, boldness and undaunted determination. Sometimes my sister's 'mess' was more of the personal life catastrophe variety. Bad choices, bad timing, bad comrades and all in the worst possible order. Mt sister was going through a 'mess' of the second variety in 1999. She was, simply put, in worse shape than I was - at least it looked like it from the outside looking in.

That year, my sister took the time and a few of her very limited dollars and bought me a Christmas present. She gave me a perfectly selected mug. When I unwrapped it, the crass imprint on the outside and the playful lettering inside the rim gave me pause. The I felt a giggle forming deep inside, a giggle that begin to bubble up into a joyous laugh.

Now, years and gallons of coffee later, I still cherish this bold, playful, timely and loving gift. It makes my Sunday cup of coffee perfect. Thanks Sis!

NOTE: My sister died 5/12/12. I'll miss her. RIP Pam.

Pamela Earl Stafford - Grief

In the middle of it...

Miss you Sis.

Pamela Earl Stafford: May 25, 1952 - May 12, 2012

Grieving. 

Murrells Inlet, SC

Pamela Earl Stafford, 59, passed away peacefully in her sleep May 11, 2012.  She was born May 25, 1952 in Newport, Rhode Island to her joyful parents William Earl Williams and Claudia Elizabeth (Lib) Williams.  She was predeceased by her father the late William Earl Williams. The worldly phase of her life concluded during the quiet moments of her sleep on May 11, 2012.  Her strong will, wistful nature, and loving spirit are already missed among her family, friends, and colleagues. 

Pam Stafford became a Registered Nurse in Florida in the 1970s.  Throughout her years of nursing she was loved and respected by the patients and the families that she touched as well as the physicians who depended on her. As a friend or a colleague you were sure to laugh, cry and learn with her. Her path in nursing offered her many experiences and was part of her heart.  She nursed in Florida, South Carolina, Arizona, New Jersey, New Mexico and the US Virgin Islands.

She was an open minded soul who loved the Native American culture, the desert, animals, (especially her dog Sammy), music, bike week and experiencing life in her own way.  As a mother and a grandmother she was not what most would say is “conventional” but her children and grandchildren would have had it no other way. She loved to laugh and play and do things with her children that were fun and memorable yet she taught them lessons by example as well as by affording them “protected” independence so that they could grow and become strong individuals.  She lived her life “Pam’s way” and those of us who know her would not have had her any other way.

  Although her time with us has passed so quickly, our loss can be lessened in the comfort that she is peaceful with God and we know his staff has received a bold and courageous addition.

She is survived by her mother, Elizabeth Benton Cox and her husband, Esters; her grandmother, Mrs. Horry (Lucille) H. Benton of Murrells Inlet; her son, Everett Stafford and his wife, Danielle, of Sugar Land, TX; her daughter, Lisa Norton and her husband, Greg, of Rock Hill, SC; her two brothers, Jan Williams of High Point, NC and Kim Williams and his wife, Gail, of Winston-Salem, NC; and four sisters, Linda Pervis of Florence, SC; Susan Craven and her husband, Kenneth, of Marion, SC; Janet Schultz and her husband, Bill, of Florence, SC; and Deborah Mixon of Florence, SC.  She also leaves with love five grandchildren: Chris, Kyle, and Zack Stafford, Brittany Heid, and Daniel Norton and one great-grand child, Branton Heid.  

A Memorial Service will be held at 10:00 AM, Thursday, May 17, 2012 at McMillan-Small Funeral Home with the Rev. Bruce Crawford officiating.   A visitation will follow the service at the funeral home.  

Memorials may be made to the Myrtle Beach Humane Society, 3241 10th Ave. North, Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 or the charity of one’s choice.  

Sunday Coffee Cup - Tallahassee

A few years back, while searching out possible retirement locations, my wife (bless her heart) and I were considering Tallahassee, Florida. Not anymore.

Florida, the often selected retirement destination for northerners who woke up one day from a Winter slumber and realized, “Hey – snow, ice, heating bills and fast paced talking is optional,” was never high on my list of retirement destinations. I’ve enjoyed visiting the glass bottom boats, reptiles shows, Flipper aquariums and sipping “all the orange juice you can drink for a dime,” but always felt that Florida was – well, not really the South.  Let’s face it, you can throw a case of darts in Miami and the closest thing to a Southern you’ll hit is a South American. Don’t get me wrong, I like diversity, but I prefer the slow drawl and sweet tea of a Southern lifestyle.

Enter my wife. Although she’s not a Southerner, she married me and that makes her – well, smart and acceptable. She also grew up (read 'went through adolescence') in Florida (read 'Fort Lauderdale') and to college at Florida State University – which is in Tallahassee – which isn’t really in Florida even though it is the capital of the state. Tallahassee is located in the Florida panhandle and is very close to Georgia and Alabama. My wife suggested that it was a possible retirement location, in Florida, in the South. Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup is a souvenir of our Tallahassee considerations.

Here is what I learned about Tallahassee:

1. It is a great city with lots to do – including worshiping regularly at the Florida State University shrine of Bobby Bowden.
2. Once you leave the city – there is really nothing else. Pine and palm forests, humidity you can bath in, heat that only makes you sweat more, an abundance of biting and stinging insects and pencil thin ‘beaches’ and ocean that looks like the froth of a day old latté.
3. Hiking consists of walking across level ground for miles, dodging spider webs and large spiders between pine trees.
4. The tea isn’t sweet enough.
5. You can’t get anywhere from Tallahassee. You have to go somewhere else first (read off the beaten track).
6. There are some very nice people who live there.

So, I don’t think we will be moving to Tallahassee for retirement. You know the old saying “It’s a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.” Well, the latter is true.

Go Seminoles! Heh.

Sunday Coffee Cup - Brookgreen Gardens

There is stillness in the marsh as winter begins to yield to the caresses of spring and the low country creatures begin to stir, to tilt sedated attention to the tasks of advancing life. The ancient oaks drip with creativity and Spanish moss. Water runs deep and slow connecting statuary fountains to rice fields. Nowhere am I more at home than in the space of land that rests between the low country swamps and the sand of the shore. No place better represents that ancestral space than Brookgreen Gardens. 

Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup is from my favorite place in South Carolina. Brookgreen Gardens and Huntington Beach State park rest now on what was once the South Carolina plantation home of Anna Hyatt and Archer Milton Huntington. The Huntingtons were amazing artists of word and form.

The Brookgreen Gardens website describes them:  “Archer and Anna Hyatt Huntington. The Huntingtons first visited the property in 1929. They were captivated by the Carolina Lowcountry with its undulating rivers and shadowy swamplands, sandy pine forests, sweeping marsh vistas and stately moss-draped oaks. So, the philanthropist and his beloved sculptor wife bought Brookgreen Plantation and the three adjoining properties, amassing 9,127 acres of forest, swamp, rice fields and beachfront.


Originally, their plan was to establish a winter home overlooking the wide, blue Atlantic, but the beauty and history of the land quickly transformed their modest intention into something more grand. In 1931, they organized a non-profit institution with a lofty mission: providing a showcase for American figurative sculpture within a refuge for native plants and animals. A year later, they opened Brookgreen to the public. It is the first sculpture garden in the United States and designated as a National Historic Landmark.”

Brookgreen Gardens - here you will find towering statuary, bold flowers and courageous creatures – all demanding the art from within you. One sip of this place will capture you and I’m sipping the South today and stirring in a spoonful of artistic passion for this Sunday morning.  Care to join me?

Sunday Coffee Cup - My 'Thoughtful' Brother

My family is loving, supportive and deeply interested in my work as a writer and blogger. Case in point.

My brother obviously reads diligently my Sunday Coffee Cup post each week. He is, no doubt, humored, touched and deeply affected by the artistic creativity and intellectual prowess exhibited in each carefully crafted post. I know this, because when we visited this weekend (the first time we have seen each other since before Christmas), he presented me with a gift that is today's Sunday Coffee Cup.

He said he thought I needed it since I was so interested in cups.

Family.

IF, by Rudyard Kipling

One of my favorite, all time poems is "If" by Rudyard Kipling. I was introduced to this verse early in life, and the words have always challenged me to be more, risk boldly and balance my living more evenly between the elation and despair dished out by life's moments. Enjoy (for those of you would are "Pinterested" - I've included an image below).

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:


If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


-Rudyard Kipling

Source: media.photobucket.com via Kim on Pinterest

Sunday Coffee Cup – Tennis Anyone?

I don’t play tennis. The last time I tried, I broke a rib (Don’t ask. Although it is an interesting story involving a celebrity or two…anyway). My wife loves tennis. She played tennis for Florida State – back in the day. We had our first ‘date’ at a tennis match (That’s another good story. I pretended to be a doctor. She pretended to be my wife. Wait – that could be a country music song…anyway).

Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup touts the sport of tennis. Someone gave it to my wife. It’s really a pretty ugly mug – #justsaying. Over the years we have, like most folks, culled the coffee mug population in our cupboard. I keep thinking, year after year that this one will be among the chosen, the Tribute (yes, I just made a Hunger Games reference – I’m so ready to see that film) to see the path of a thousand donation deaths. I’ve even thought of taking it to Breakfast of Course (for those Dear Readers that don't know - Breakfast of Course is a local restaurant that was once  "Mary's of Course" and they served breakfast. They still do and they serve you coffee in random, used and often interesting mugs), but I don’t think they would take it.

As coffee mugs go – well, it is one.

Happy Sunday Coffee Mug.

Sunday Coffee Cup - The Wife's Mug

Share and share alike? Ha!

I don’t know about other men, but around my house I do exactly what I want to do (wait for it), just as soon as I find out from my wife what I want to do.

Honestly, my wife runs the home. She always has. I like it that way (repeats to self – “I like it that way”). It works. She has control of the entire house. I get to control the top of my dresser… and the nightstand by my quarter of the bed. Sound fair, doesn’t it? We most things by the proven mantra: “What’s hers is hers and what’s mine is hers too.”
Then there are the coffee mugs (pretty good transition if I do say so myself). I have full run of Sunday Coffee Cup choices. The entirety of the cupboard is my kingdom – except for two specific mugs. Today’s coffee cup is stolen, swiped, hijacked even, from the wife’s forbidden coffee ware.

 So, you can see I’m living on the edge today, taking a walk on the wild side, playing with fire, crushing the boundaries and putting it all on the line. Ha! Devil be dared!  I’m claiming my manhood and the full domain of my dwelling. This is my house!

Well, I have to go. There is just enough time to finish my coffee, wash and dry the mug and place it carefully back in the cabinet before I leave to meet my dear, loving and kind wife for lunch.

Shhhhhh.  You won’t tell, right?

Sunday Coffee Cup - Crabby Mother

Some people are kind of crabby first thing in the morning. I remember my mother was (well, still is) one of those people. While most of the time my mother was one of the kindest, patient and loving people you would ever meet – not before she had had her morning coffee and cigarette.  The creature that preceded her caffeinated self was the very definition of “not a morning person." So ominous was her uncharacteristically grumpy self that my older brother got in the habit of perking the coffee for her each morning in hopes of hastening the process of her transformation to our loving mom.

Today’s Sunday Coffee Cup comes to us courtesy of my youngest step-daughter.   She returned from a beach trip one summer with this gift.

Although I pretty sure it was simply the obligatory gift for her mother (yes I did just say that), I have enjoyed it over the years as a reminder of my own mother’s Jeckle and Hyde morning coffee transformation – it makes me smile.

Myrtle Beach Ahhhhh!

I was here Thursday and it was 75 degrees and clear!