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"meanderings"
My wife is traveling in Europe. While I am enjoying the time alone at home, I'm learning some interesting things:
1. Brown clothing is best washed in the dark load.
2. We use a lot of water on the plants - Thirsty little things.
3. A fish can go days without being fed, apparently (note to self - feed fish)
4. There are many things I obviously don't remember without a reminder.
5. I really don't read the newspaper - I just bring it inside.
6. Absence (abstinence?) does make the heart grow fonder.
7. I will eat about anything if it is handy, doesn't smell rotten or look too fuzzy.
8. My dogs are neurotic and needy (another note - feed the dogs).
9. Things get dusty.
10. I like the bed being made before I climb in at night.
“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” –Williams James
I spent 8 years in higher education, 15 years beyond that as a pastor for a mainline denomination, and studied human psychology, pastor counseling and theology. It took a man with no more than a high school education and a background in construction to teach me something real about people, about me.
I was having a bad day and it wasn’t even 10:00 am. I’d had an argument with my wife. My children were not behaving the way I wanted them to, and my work schedule for the day was so packed that I knew I wouldn’t be able to get all of it done. My brain hurt, my back hurt and I pretty much hated everything and everybody at that moment.
My boss at the time took note of my very bad attitude and asked me to come into his office. I did. He listened to my story and then paused before saying, “You have two choices this morning. You can stay pissed and have a sorry day, or you can do something about your attitude.” He reached in the desk drawer and handed me a card* that resembled one of those “do not disturb” door hangers. On the front and back were a series of saying, positive affirmations. He told me to take it and if I wanted to change my attitude to read the saying out loud on the way to my first appointment for that day. My attitude wasn’t very receptive. I thought of all the psychological cliques that I knew. I thought about how what I was going through was much bigger than a few clever and witty sayings. I thought of a hundred reasons why his suggestion was, at best, inadequate. I didn’t challenge him. I took the card and headed for the truck. As I walked out of his office he said one more thing, “I bet you’re too chicken to try it.”
I smiled and for some reason warmed up to the idea of proving him wrong. On the way to my first appointment, I read them out load:
“I will win. Why? I’ll tell you why – because I have faith courage and enthusiasm.”
“Today I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.”
“I see opportunity in every challenge.”
“When I fail, I only look at what I did right.”
“I’ll never take advice from someone more messed up than I am.”
The readings continued, and so did the change in my attitude. There is great power in the words we speak to ourselves, and by the time I was done – I did feel better and begin to think on the things I could do to be effective and successful that day. I have never forgotten that lesson.
*The card is produced by Tom Hopkins International and can be found here: Shower Card
What is the real difference between solitude and loneliness if not a spiritual matter?
Cutting to the chase, I sometimes find myself alone and enjoying the simple peace and independence that such time allows: reading, writing, listening to music, or riding the currents of thoughts and dreams. This is a type of alone time I truly cherish - I think of this when I use the word solitude.
Then there are times when I'm uncomfortably alone. Times when my thoughts and emotions run chaotic and intense, times when tumultuous tides seem to push me about from one feeling to another - and my natural reaction is to try to change the way I feel from the outside. These are dangerous times. Strangely enough, I am as likely to have these moments of loneliness when I am in a crowd of people as when I am alone. Loneliness seems to come from internal unmet needs, a sense - real or perceived - of lack, of want.
There are also moments when, as I live my life and learn the patterns of relationships and inward realities - that my loneliness will turn to solitude.
Recently, I came across this song by Suzanne Vega that captures part of this experience beautifully. I do like her poetic lyrics.
Cutting to the chase, I sometimes find myself alone and enjoying the simple peace and independence that such time allows: reading, writing, listening to music, or riding the currents of thoughts and dreams. This is a type of alone time I truly cherish - I think of this when I use the word solitude.
Then there are times when I'm uncomfortably alone. Times when my thoughts and emotions run chaotic and intense, times when tumultuous tides seem to push me about from one feeling to another - and my natural reaction is to try to change the way I feel from the outside. These are dangerous times. Strangely enough, I am as likely to have these moments of loneliness when I am in a crowd of people as when I am alone. Loneliness seems to come from internal unmet needs, a sense - real or perceived - of lack, of want.
There are also moments when, as I live my life and learn the patterns of relationships and inward realities - that my loneliness will turn to solitude.
Recently, I came across this song by Suzanne Vega that captures part of this experience beautifully. I do like her poetic lyrics.
Familiar
who are you,
this creature with my face and eyes,
small and fleet running rampant on my soul?
what quest brings you here again
to devour my joy and chase away my peace
ever laughing as you go, flinging scorn and disdain?
come, troubler of spirits
rest here on my lap and tell me what fuels your frenzy
how comes your recent troubled flight into my thoughts?
sit with me
let us wait together for the rain
waterfalls often bring sprites in drops of tears and sweet dew.
for i know you like them so
abide here with me then - my familiar.
Sometimes I run across a post floating around in blog land that just hits me the right way and I feel compelled to write in respond. Recently this happened while I was over at Monica's Place. I began a comment and it turned into a poem. Thought I would share it here.
Monica Unwrapped
layers and layers folded upon you
thin, airy fabrics of almost unnoticeable existence
one is nothing, an inconvenience
another layer merely a moment of discomfort
laced together slowly, one by one
wrapping themselves around you
one day the weight is unbearable
one day the discomfort binds you
one day you feel cocooned
time
time passes
time passes slowly
time passes slowly and you grow
too big for the encasement
too substantial for the drapes of bondage
too complete for holding back
...
emerge in your time
some of us already see your beauty
and believe
believe in yourself, delicate butterfly
believe, feel the sun
flutter on the breeze and fly…
Monica Unwrapped
layers and layers folded upon you
thin, airy fabrics of almost unnoticeable existence
one is nothing, an inconvenience
another layer merely a moment of discomfort
laced together slowly, one by one
wrapping themselves around you
one day the weight is unbearable
one day the discomfort binds you
one day you feel cocooned
time
time passes
time passes slowly
time passes slowly and you grow
too big for the encasement
too substantial for the drapes of bondage
too complete for holding back
...
emerge in your time
some of us already see your beauty
and believe
believe in yourself, delicate butterfly
believe, feel the sun
flutter on the breeze and fly…
One of the best kept secrets in South Carolina is Brookgreen Gardens. This antebellum estate setting, now the home of outdoor statuary, towering live oaks and pristine gardens has a history dating back to 1931. Archer and Anna Hyatt Huntington, founded Brookgreen Gardens, a non-profit 501(c) (3) garden museum, to preserve the native flora and fauna and display objects of art within that natural setting.
Brookgreen Gardens is a National Historic Landmark with the most significant collection of figurative sculpture, in an outdoor setting, by American artists in the world. Brookgreen has the only zoo accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums on the coast of the Carolinas.
I grew up less than 20 miles from Brookgreen Gardens. In the mid 1960's, my mother would retreat to this quiet setting to reflect and heal spiritually following the untimely death of my father. Finding a special place of both natural and artistic beauty she later made this place a regular destination for her family - my sister, brother and me. The statues towered above us and the trees stretched out above us, offering us inspiration and shelter for all of the maladies of the often noisy and mundane chores of life. I grew up in the embrace of these gardens and there is no place I know that captures such a rich resource of art (poetry, sculpture, architecture, landscape), nature (200 year old oaks, giant azalea plants with palm size flowers, Spanish moss, native flora and fauna) and history (tales of the developing South, rice plantations, early trade, the beginning of ethnic diversity).
One of Anna Hyatt's pieces that resides in my mind is "Jaguar." One of a pair of sculptures in bronze, this depiction of a life size beast, poised to jump always captured my attention as a child. It still does.
Brookgreen Gardens is a National Historic Landmark with the most significant collection of figurative sculpture, in an outdoor setting, by American artists in the world. Brookgreen has the only zoo accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums on the coast of the Carolinas.
I grew up less than 20 miles from Brookgreen Gardens. In the mid 1960's, my mother would retreat to this quiet setting to reflect and heal spiritually following the untimely death of my father. Finding a special place of both natural and artistic beauty she later made this place a regular destination for her family - my sister, brother and me. The statues towered above us and the trees stretched out above us, offering us inspiration and shelter for all of the maladies of the often noisy and mundane chores of life. I grew up in the embrace of these gardens and there is no place I know that captures such a rich resource of art (poetry, sculpture, architecture, landscape), nature (200 year old oaks, giant azalea plants with palm size flowers, Spanish moss, native flora and fauna) and history (tales of the developing South, rice plantations, early trade, the beginning of ethnic diversity).
One of Anna Hyatt's pieces that resides in my mind is "Jaguar." One of a pair of sculptures in bronze, this depiction of a life size beast, poised to jump always captured my attention as a child. It still does.
Meet Tom Rush
From the cramped space of my college dorm room and the defined limits of my young adult life, the voice of Tom Rush, gentle and filled with melancholy, touches my mind, my soul and reminds me that there are those who capture life in ballads and tunes hauntingly impassioned.
Tom Rush has both lyrics and music that are of a time gone by. Heck, even for the years of his popularity, he was singing stories and a style from the days of cowboy ballads and hobo songs.
Look him up. Take a trip on some of his lyrics, or just sit back and have your heart rocked lovingly by Maggie from "Ladies Love Outlaws."
One day last month I had the privilege of meeting not one but two of North Carolina's nicest and most beautiful women: Nadia Moffett, Miss North Carolina USA and Lauren Ashley, Miss North Carolina Teen USA. As you can see, I was thrilled.
Lauren Ashley, Miss NC Teen USA
Nadia Moffett, Miss NC USA
What is more, both ladies were well spoken, professional and honored by their role.
Lauren Ashley, Miss NC Teen USA
Nadia Moffett, Miss NC USA