reflect on
this
can you gaze
in the mirror where
you will find
yourself
gazing into
yourself
with
kindness
yes
you can
Viewing entries in
"life on life's terms"
A quick series of posts on the 5 things that are "DONT'S" in life, in descending order. I know this for a fact. Let's just leave it at that.
1. Failure to Dream Your Dream.
At the heart of our life is the passion we carry for life itself - our dreams. Too often we get busy doing and don't take the time to be - to believe in ourselves and what is important to us. Who or what cause is of core importance to you? What are your forgotten passions?
Penitence for this loss of dreaming is as follows. Remember that time when you tingled with lie and joy? Write it down right now. Capture in words on paper that moment of life and promise yourself you will find it again. Then, complete this little exercise by sharing that moment with someone else (maybe even here in the comments).
A quick series of posts on the 5 things that are "DONT'S" in life, in descending order. I know this for a fact. Let's just leave it at that.
2. Resting the Body and Mind too Seldom.
Studies tell us that we need sleep. For some of us we need 6-8 hours each day of restful, safe sleep. We neglect our body and mind's need for down time and push, push through life consuming artifical stimulants and frantically engaging digital prompts - and along the way we get too tired. We shut down the more creative and liberating moments of ourselves.
Penitence for this overworking of your mind and body is as follows. Shut everything off an hour early tonight. Drink a cup of warm tea and then get your tired body in a dark comfortable bed and sleep. Do it and come back here for more tomorrow.
A quick series of posts on the 5 things that are "DONT'S" in life, in descending order. I know this for a fact. Let's just leave it at that.
3. Speaking too Few Kind Words.
Our criticisms and curses are ready to leap from our mouths when given a pause in the conversation. We whine about people, places and things - effortlessly. How often do we speak kindness into our places of work, family or recreation? From a simple 'thank you' to a sincere compliment - our words have great life giving power to others.
Penitence for this lack of kind speech is as follows. Right now, walk up to the nearest person and give them a compliment. Do it now and come back here for more tomorrow.
The power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection. -Henry Ward Beecher
“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” –Williams James
I spent 8 years in higher education, 15 years beyond that as a pastor for a mainline denomination, and studied human psychology, pastor counseling and theology. It took a man with no more than a high school education and a background in construction to teach me something real about people, about me.
I was having a bad day and it wasn’t even 10:00 am. I’d had an argument with my wife. My children were not behaving the way I wanted them to, and my work schedule for the day was so packed that I knew I wouldn’t be able to get all of it done. My brain hurt, my back hurt and I pretty much hated everything and everybody at that moment.
My boss at the time took note of my very bad attitude and asked me to come into his office. I did. He listened to my story and then paused before saying, “You have two choices this morning. You can stay pissed and have a sorry day, or you can do something about your attitude.” He reached in the desk drawer and handed me a card* that resembled one of those “do not disturb” door hangers. On the front and back were a series of saying, positive affirmations. He told me to take it and if I wanted to change my attitude to read the saying out loud on the way to my first appointment for that day. My attitude wasn’t very receptive. I thought of all the psychological cliques that I knew. I thought about how what I was going through was much bigger than a few clever and witty sayings. I thought of a hundred reasons why his suggestion was, at best, inadequate. I didn’t challenge him. I took the card and headed for the truck. As I walked out of his office he said one more thing, “I bet you’re too chicken to try it.”
I smiled and for some reason warmed up to the idea of proving him wrong. On the way to my first appointment, I read them out load:
“I will win. Why? I’ll tell you why – because I have faith courage and enthusiasm.”
“Today I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.”
“I see opportunity in every challenge.”
“When I fail, I only look at what I did right.”
“I’ll never take advice from someone more messed up than I am.”
The readings continued, and so did the change in my attitude. There is great power in the words we speak to ourselves, and by the time I was done – I did feel better and begin to think on the things I could do to be effective and successful that day. I have never forgotten that lesson.
*The card is produced by Tom Hopkins International and can be found here: Shower Card
What is the real difference between solitude and loneliness if not a spiritual matter?
Cutting to the chase, I sometimes find myself alone and enjoying the simple peace and independence that such time allows: reading, writing, listening to music, or riding the currents of thoughts and dreams. This is a type of alone time I truly cherish - I think of this when I use the word solitude.
Then there are times when I'm uncomfortably alone. Times when my thoughts and emotions run chaotic and intense, times when tumultuous tides seem to push me about from one feeling to another - and my natural reaction is to try to change the way I feel from the outside. These are dangerous times. Strangely enough, I am as likely to have these moments of loneliness when I am in a crowd of people as when I am alone. Loneliness seems to come from internal unmet needs, a sense - real or perceived - of lack, of want.
There are also moments when, as I live my life and learn the patterns of relationships and inward realities - that my loneliness will turn to solitude.
Recently, I came across this song by Suzanne Vega that captures part of this experience beautifully. I do like her poetic lyrics.
Cutting to the chase, I sometimes find myself alone and enjoying the simple peace and independence that such time allows: reading, writing, listening to music, or riding the currents of thoughts and dreams. This is a type of alone time I truly cherish - I think of this when I use the word solitude.
Then there are times when I'm uncomfortably alone. Times when my thoughts and emotions run chaotic and intense, times when tumultuous tides seem to push me about from one feeling to another - and my natural reaction is to try to change the way I feel from the outside. These are dangerous times. Strangely enough, I am as likely to have these moments of loneliness when I am in a crowd of people as when I am alone. Loneliness seems to come from internal unmet needs, a sense - real or perceived - of lack, of want.
There are also moments when, as I live my life and learn the patterns of relationships and inward realities - that my loneliness will turn to solitude.
Recently, I came across this song by Suzanne Vega that captures part of this experience beautifully. I do like her poetic lyrics.
Today was my birthday, and in honor of the milestone passing, I thought I would share an age related story from my life this past week. First we have to go back a couple of years...
My wife and I were vacationing in Bermuda when I spotted a T-Shirt that said, "Old Guys Rule." I loved it. As an 'aging man', it was affirming to read those words so proudly displayed. I made a mental note to check out into getting one. Months later, at Christmas I received not only the shirt but a white decal displaying those words.
"Old Guys Rule" turns out to be a bit of a retail movement with hats, shirts, decals, bags, etc. I now own several items sporting that motto. I find it playful, fun and affirming. The decal is displayed on the lower corner of my driver's side windshield. Over the last two years the only comments I have received have been positive. People like it. They seem to "get it" until one morning last week.
I was parked in front of my son's home waiting to pick him up when two woman walked by walking their dogs. One of them started talking to me through my closed car window. I rolled down the window to hear her and she pointed at the decal and asked, "Old Guys Rule?" I smiled and replied, "Yes." She snorted - yes actually snorted - and said, "Not over me they don't!"
What? Is it possible to affirm ANYTHING without offending someone? Well, I'm another year older today and I'm just saying, "OLD GUYS RULE!"
1. Back up my iTunes library - I know. I should. I just can't stand the idea of burning it to all of those CDs. Why doesn't Apple allow me to save it to an external drive?
2. Get a physical - Another thing I should do, but every time I think about it I keep remembering one particular aspect of the exam. Hey, it's only been two years.
3. Clean out my top dresser drawer - Don't even pretend yours is neat.
4. Finish my Novel - it's only 10 years in the making.
5. Decide what I want to be when I grow up - I keep changing my mind.
I've been debating this post, and decided (obviously) to write it.
Last year I spoke at the Interfaith Service for the Rotary District 7690 annual conference at Myrtle Beach, SC. My message was received very well and I was asked immediately by the incoming District Governor if I would commit to speaking again this year. I accepted.
As it happens, we are convening this weekend at The Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC. I'll be speaking Sunday at the Interfaith Service. Last week it was announced that President Obama and his family would be vacationing this week in NC and staying at - you guessed it - The Grove Park Inn.
Currently, I'm plotting on how I can maximize this coincidence to make me famous, or at least create a superb memory. I mean there will no doubt be only a wall or two between me and The President of The United States. That has to be an opportunity - I just haven't figured out exactly how...YET!